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My Wife Cheated on Me After I Cheated on Her – I want a divorce, Am I wrong?

As a black man, am I justified in getting upset because my white wife cheated even though I cheat on her too?


I’m 42 years old; my wife Sandra is 45. We’ve been married for 19 years and we have two children in high school, ages 16 and 14. I admit, I’ve been cheating on her for about 15 years. My most recent affair ended around Father’s Day. Sandra caught me cheating about 5 times during our marriage but I was always forgiven. And I loved her for that. Sandra was my heart and in a way, she still is. I must have cheated on her with at least 20 different women during our marriage. Even though I continued to “think with the wrong head”, my conscience was still eating at me because Sandra seemed to be such a good wife. She ironed my suits, packed my lunch, rubbed my back and she never spoke to me with an attitude unless she was cursing me out for cheating on her. But for the most part, she understood who wore the pants in our household and she never made me feel less of a man.


But last week, I got a phone call from Alicia. Alicia is married to one of Sandra’s colleagues(a guy named Terrence) at the company she’s worked at for 17 years. Alicia told me that she discovered an affair that her husband was having with my wife for 4 years….that I was totally unaware of! I didn’t want to believe her but when I confronted Sandra about it, she told the truth. So, I got angry, I yelled, cursed, I broke everything in the living room and said I wanted a divorce and then I left. Right now, I’m staying at my momma’s house and I still ain’t get the rest of my things yet.


Sandra keeps calling me, crying and apologizing but I’m too hurt. You may call me a hypocrite but it’s not that simple. Whenever I cheated, it was just about sex. My “hoes on the side” knew their place and they knew upfront that I was NEVER leaving my wife. All of my mistresses were BLACK like me, I felt that sleeping with white women when I already have a white woman at home would be the ultimate disrespect. I never developed feelings for these women, the affairs were very brief and then I’d move on another one.


But Sandra has been screwing Terrence for FOUR YEARS! She MUST be in love with this man if it lasted that long with the SAME person. Terrence is a black man, why go for a black men when you have one at home? And the most disrespectful thing about her affair is that I’m familiar with this man and his wife. Whenever the company had a function or a fancy party, Sandra would bring me and Terrence would bring Alicia. They would smile in our faces knowing that they’re sleeping with each other behind our backs. Do you know how insulting that is?! Sandra has the nerve to remind me of all the times she forgave me for cheating on her. Again, I didn’t fall in love with any other woman. I KNOW she’s in love with Terrence and she can deny it if she wants to. That doesn’t sit well with me and I think divorce is the best choice. It’s sad because Sandra was a good wife and a good friend to me. We were a team. We paid bills together, we talked to each other, we made love often, we raised two kids…the list goes on.


Now, am I being a hypocrite? Or if you put yourself in my shoes, would you understand where I’m coming from? Think about it, when you cheat for sex, its understandable. But when you cheat for LOVE when you have a husband at home that loves you like the beautiful white queen that you are, then its PERSONAL! Right or wrong? Why or why not?

    Gregory McFadden via facebook
    Posted 6 months ago

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      Abel Lewis via facebook
      Posted 6 months ago

      Ridiculous!

        Letosha Davis via facebook
        Posted 6 months ago

        That man is a fool.

          Dwight White via facebook
          Posted 6 months ago

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            Amber Cavanagh via facebook
            Posted 6 months ago

            Just like a typcal fucking male man

              Amber Cavanagh via facebook
              Posted 6 months ago

              Is fucking wrong

                MalAlwys WRght NevaWrng via facebook
                Posted 6 months ago

                U should have got a divorce b4 u cheated. U selfish #@$%%

                  Dwane Jackson via facebook
                  Posted 6 months ago

                  Two wrongs don’t makea right!
                  And beside if she forgave him she is dead wrond

                      Tanya Jefferson via facebook
                      Posted 6 months ago

                      The color complex in this is ludicrous. He thought he was special with his “white queen” and black hoes, sir good day.

                        Edwin Marin via facebook
                        Posted 6 months ago

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                          Levon Wilson via facebook
                          Posted 6 months ago

                          A typically selfish ass, two wrongs dont make it right, monogomy is a true foundation on true good lovin

                            Levon Wilson via facebook
                            Posted 6 months ago

                            A typically selfish ass, two wrongs dont make it right, monogomy is a true foundation on true good lovin

                              Lisha Borum via facebook
                              Posted 6 months ago

                              Yes he wrong but she’s better off without his selfish ass!!!! poof be gone dumb ass!!!

                                Lisha Borum via facebook
                                Posted 6 months ago

                                Well I’m rlealy glad I’m not alone on this one. I fortune tell a lot when things start to go bad and a lot of the times when it isn’t needed. I always figured my imagination was too active and I didn’t have enough to occupy my mind.Btw, Santa isn’t real?!

                                  Etheldra Holmes-Mays via facebook
                                  Posted 6 months ago

                                  2 wrongs dnt make a right n God wuld hve granted her a divorce. But a person can always dish out wrong but cnt take it n. U heard me!

                                    Etheldra Holmes-Mays via facebook
                                    Posted 6 months ago

                                    2 wrongs dnt make a right n God wuld hve granted her a divorce. But a person can always dish out wrong but cnt take it n. U heard me!

                                      David Singh via facebook
                                      Posted 6 months ago

                                      Whats good for the goose, is good for the gander

                                        David Singh via facebook
                                        Posted 6 months ago

                                        Whats good for the goose, is good for the gander

                                          Robert Mastermind Battle via facebook
                                          Posted 6 months ago

                                          It look like three company to me.

                                            Robert Mastermind Battle via facebook
                                            Posted 6 months ago

                                            It look like three company to me.

                                              Ani Raina Flores via facebook
                                              Posted 6 months ago

                                              he need 2 get dat divorce! So she can get a better man cuz obvious he a dumbass!

                                                Ani Raina Flores via facebook
                                                Posted 6 months ago

                                                he need 2 get dat divorce! So she can get a better man cuz obvious he a dumbass!

                                                  DuClair IstheOne via facebook
                                                  Posted 6 months ago

                                                  I read this story and I’m having a hard time believing a dude wrote this cause the mentality is off. Regardless, I will entertain this by saying she should’ve went to marriage counseling being that she stayed so long, and you know what…this story is bogus. The layers and the intricities that call for a psychological profile screams its illogical that this is a “Black Man’s story” smh I’m out. Football is on! Go Giants!!!

                                                    DuClair IstheOne via facebook
                                                    Posted 6 months ago

                                                    I read this story and I’m having a hard time believing a dude wrote this cause the mentality is off. Regardless, I will entertain this by saying she should’ve went to marriage counseling being that she stayed so long, and you know what…this story is bogus. The layers and the intricities that call for a psychological profile screams its illogical that this is a “Black Man’s story” smh I’m out. Football is on! Go Giants!!!

                                                      Myster Adams via facebook
                                                      Posted 6 months ago

                                                      They both deserve each other. He shouldn’t be granted anything.

                                                        Myster Adams via facebook
                                                        Posted 6 months ago

                                                        They both deserve each other. He shouldn’t be granted anything.

                                                          Johndy Louis via facebook
                                                          Posted 6 months ago

                                                          Its not that she cheated, but how she did it.

                                                            Johndy Louis via facebook
                                                            Posted 6 months ago

                                                            Its not that she cheated, but how she did it.

                                                              Keida Lawrence via facebook
                                                              Posted 6 months ago

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                                                                Keida Lawrence via facebook
                                                                Posted 6 months ago

                                                                Right so true

                                                                  Chirax Deuba via facebook
                                                                  Posted 6 months ago

                                                                  It hapns

                                                                    Chirax Deuba via facebook
                                                                    Posted 6 months ago

                                                                    It hapns

                                                                      Richard Douglas via facebook
                                                                      Posted 6 months ago

                                                                      I feel what he’s saying, but he got what he deserved. Love &friends sex are two different things. Your wife probably is in love with the other man. Both of you need yo cut your losses. There is no way you will forgive her, she cut real deep as u have done to her.

                                                                        Richard Douglas via facebook
                                                                        Posted 6 months ago

                                                                        I feel what he’s saying, but he got what he deserved. Love &friends sex are two different things. Your wife probably is in love with the other man. Both of you need yo cut your losses. There is no way you will forgive her, she cut real deep as u have done to her.

                                                                          Alyssa Sandgren via facebook
                                                                          Posted 6 months ago

                                                                          Is he serious???? Are they both serious? She should have left him the 2nd time she caught him, she shouldnt keep the marriage going and then turn around and cheat as well. However, he has no right to be mad. They are both wrong. Two wrongs dont make a right, but two negatives can make a positive that could kill you.

                                                                            Alyssa Sandgren via facebook
                                                                            Posted 6 months ago

                                                                            Is he serious???? Are they both serious? She should have left him the 2nd time she caught him, she shouldnt keep the marriage going and then turn around and cheat as well. However, he has no right to be mad. They are both wrong. Two wrongs dont make a right, but two negatives can make a positive that could kill you.

                                                                              Johndy Louis via facebook
                                                                              Posted 6 months ago

                                                                              thats to many time to have cheated on her, she obviously didnt feel loved by him. At least she was sleeping with one man, but I dont think sleeping with a married man was fair for the other woman. I say give her another chance and start over fresh and keep your dick in your pocket this time

                                                                                Johndy Louis via facebook
                                                                                Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                thats to many time to have cheated on her, she obviously didnt feel loved by him. At least she was sleeping with one man, but I dont think sleeping with a married man was fair for the other woman. I say give her another chance and start over fresh and keep your dick in your pocket this time

                                                                                  Leona Shontaú Young via facebook
                                                                                  Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                  It ain’t no fun if the wifey can’t have none. (Selfish smellfish) smh

                                                                                    Leona Shontaú Young via facebook
                                                                                    Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                    Yeah, that’s the tkicet, sir or ma’am

                                                                                      Darla Guiden via facebook
                                                                                      Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                      My foivrate story yet! You hit the nail on the head with pixies dirty nickels on your sheets! Great one Dr. Rob!

                                                                                        Darla Guiden via facebook
                                                                                        Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                        Redanig this makes my decisions easier than taking candy from a baby.

                                                                                          Todd Williams via facebook
                                                                                          Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                          Men always get upset when the woman starts doing the same thing they’ve been doing, it makes no sense!! They should stay together and have an open marriage seeing they’ve been having one anyway why stop now?

                                                                                            Todd Williams via facebook
                                                                                            Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                            Men always get upset when the woman starts doing the same thing they’ve been doing, it makes no sense!! They should stay together and have an open marriage seeing they’ve been having one anyway why stop now?

                                                                                              Randy Thompson via facebook
                                                                                              Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                              This dude is a joke….bitchass…

                                                                                                Randy Thompson via facebook
                                                                                                Posted 6 months ago

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                                                                                                  Prima Donna via facebook
                                                                                                  Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                  What’s Good For The Goose Is Just As Good For The Gander…Now, You Know How It Feels.

                                                                                                    Prima Donna via facebook
                                                                                                    Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                    What’s Good For The Goose Is Just As Good For The Gander…Now, You Know How It Feels.

                                                                                                      Randy Thompson via facebook
                                                                                                      Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                      I make it a point to get exactly the woman I want….NO DEVIATIONS….. that way there’s gonna be no chance of cheating….more than one woman is just wasted energy period….the money ain’t the problem is personality juggling that turns me off…..

                                                                                                        Randy Thompson via facebook
                                                                                                        Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                        I make it a point to get exactly the woman I want….NO DEVIATIONS….. that way there’s gonna be no chance of cheating….more than one woman is just wasted energy period….the money ain’t the problem is personality juggling that turns me off…..

                                                                                                          AsK-Kissy.com via facebook
                                                                                                          Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                          I just copied and pasted…. SMH .. I can’t even comment…

                                                                                                            AsK-Kissy.com via facebook
                                                                                                            Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                            I just copied and pasted…. SMH .. I can’t even comment…

                                                                                                              Alyssa Sandgren via facebook
                                                                                                              Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                              You should have told him if he wants to have a pu**y he can run around then come home and expect it to always be there and love him he should get a damn cat.

                                                                                                                Alyssa Sandgren via facebook
                                                                                                                Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                                You should have told him if he wants to have a pu**y he can run around then come home and expect it to always be there and love him he should get a damn cat.

                                                                                                                  Dana Lee via facebook
                                                                                                                  Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                                  So because you basically spit on her heart repeatedly for sex& she is wrong for looking for love elsewhere? GTFOH!!! They both will try and justify their reasons but the fact still stands that they both are cheaters. She forgave him repeatedly which showed that he didn’t give a shit, so he either needs to do the same and keep his dick in his pants or leave.

                                                                                                                    Dana Lee via facebook
                                                                                                                    Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                                    So because you basically spit on her heart repeatedly for sex& she is wrong for looking for love elsewhere? GTFOH!!! They both will try and justify their reasons but the fact still stands that they both are cheaters. She forgave him repeatedly which showed that he didn’t give a shit, so he either needs to do the same and keep his dick in his pants or leave.

                                                                                                                      Dana Lee via facebook
                                                                                                                      Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                                      Trifling ass started cheating right after she had their first kid.

                                                                                                                        Dana Lee via facebook
                                                                                                                        Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                                        Trifling ass started cheating right after she had their first kid.

                                                                                                                          Randy Thompson via facebook
                                                                                                                          Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                                          Wheres all that sensitivity when hes eating the next chick out?….

                                                                                                                            Randy Thompson via facebook
                                                                                                                            Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                                            Wheres all that sensitivity when hes eating the next chick out?….

                                                                                                                              Trendalyn Webb via facebook
                                                                                                                              Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                                              Its just a damn shame……they both are wrong. They should go their separate ways.

                                                                                                                                Trendalyn Webb via facebook
                                                                                                                                Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                                                Unparalleled accuracy, unequivocal calirty, and undeniable importance!

                                                                                                                                  Mickey Knox Monroe via facebook
                                                                                                                                  Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                                                  Just cut all losses dude..maybe y’all can be cool because of the children. But y’all both wrong..

                                                                                                                                    Mickey Knox Monroe via facebook
                                                                                                                                    Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                                                    Of the panoply of wbeitse I’ve pored over this has the most veracity.

                                                                                                                                      Susi Bluth via facebook
                                                                                                                                      Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                                                      WOW, this guy is out of this world! What goes around comes around, he deservs every bit of the pain she gave him!!!! Not to mention the part about white and black women…. This guy have absolutely no respect for nobody!

                                                                                                                                        David Smith via facebook
                                                                                                                                        Posted 6 months ago

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                                                                                                                                          Ricardo Cadet via facebook
                                                                                                                                          Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                                                          DICK! plain and simple LOL

                                                                                                                                            Pamela Corrine Williams Richardson via facebook
                                                                                                                                            Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                                                            Omg I cannot even form an intelligent response to this. I just want to scream and I don’t even know these people. Pure and simple bullshit.

                                                                                                                                              Jackie_'Hicks'_Laster_facebook
                                                                                                                                              Posted 6 months ago

                                                                                                                                              I kinda understand where he is coming from but cheating is cheating. Maybe she would not have done it if you did not do it first. IDK How long do you think you can cheat on someone and they know about it and not do the same or leave you.

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